How Humans Really Came to be
by Closet Asian
Summary: This is my version of how humans came to be instead of the boring scientific version. It ends up with a war between koalas and monkeys :D. Yes i know this isn't really a fairy tail but there wasn't really anything it really fit under. Enjoy :D!


Now most of us humans have really been informed on some gibberish on how humans came to be. The game of telephone always twists things and makes them different then they really are, so some of the things you know about how humans came to be are somewhat real, but not exactly. 

First, Humans did not evolve from apes. We sort of evolved from monkeys. Not exactly, but pretty close.

It started along time ago. About one-million years before humans were created. Yes, I do mean created, created by monkeys.

All animals are smarter than us, but they just don't show off their technology to other animals like we do. They're not like, "Hey mice how do you like my nuke?" They don't do that like we do because they are smarter than us. They have secret hiding places inside certain anonymous objects. They're like their bases, but very secret bases that if you destroy you could never tell that it was ever a base. For example, koalas can log in(1) a tree while it looks like their sleeping and talk to all the other koalas in the world. They can talk to each other about how the koala stock market is doing, how their alliances are with other animals, and develop almost anything they want to. All animals have something like this, excluding humans, but it is not as advanced as this because koalas are the smartest animal in the galaxy. You'll find many other things besides how humans came to be that we think are true, but they are really not true.

Now that you understand that we have half the intelligence of a fly, I'll go to the main part of the story.

So a monkey scientist wanted to make another animal. If he succeeded in this he would get millions of bananas because it would be the start to created new creatures, and then they would be able to make new animals that can do certain monkeys needs and it would be a lot cheaper than making robots to do it. This creature probably would not have any major talent because it is just the start, but the monkeys would be able to slightly alter the original, basic design to make it good at war or cleaning. They would be practically like slaves, but they would enjoy what they were doing. The best part of it all for the doctor, Dr. Banana, would be that the monkeys would have come up with a super invention before the koalas because the koalas used to always beat the monkeys in these sorts of things. All he needed was a gene from a koala to make the creature smart.

He set up a crafty plan to steal one baby koala. He was going to send a monkey agent to carefully cut down a tree of a koala, and have the baby fall off its mothers back and tranquilize the mother. It was an evil plan, and dangerous plan, but it was the only way to complete his project.

All Dr. Banana needed was an agent to do the task, so he went to the building, where the monkey dictator was, to ask him if he could use an agent. He waited for several hours while the dictator talked with other monkeys about random things they wanted. It was a risk asking the dictator for something because if it was something that did not concern him, or he did not like the idea, he would order that monkey to be executed immediately. If he really hates the idea the dictator would come and watch the execution himself. However, Dr. Banana was sure that the Dictator would like his idea and send an agent to do the task, that was probably a suicide mission, because monkeys are selfish and greedy, especially the dictator. It was a suicide mission because the koalas are so powerful, with all there weapons, that one monkey would have a one in a billion chance of succeeding.

Dr. Banana wrote down some more thoughts and ideas like how to put the genes together perfectly and if there were any more genes needed to make the species the most enjoyable for monkeys to watch. He thought about making the invention have jiggling legs, but decided that that would not be a good idea, because they practically wouldn't do anything, which would be no fun for the monkeys. Plus, if it was doing something really important, than you wouldn't want it to have jiggling legs because then every time someone tries to make another creature they would have to figure out how to alter the stupid, original design.

Then he heard a scream from another monkey pleading, "I swear this will be the best thing for you since the flying banana tree! You'll regret not having this! Dr. Banana got prepared because he would probably be next.

Then he heard the monkey at the front desk call, "Dr. Banana you're next. "Now you probably already know this, but if you suddenly think now that he dictator will not like your idea, now is the time to back out and only get five years in prison, but once you walk into that room there is no turning back. If he does not like your idea, or it will not do anything good for him, he will almost defiantly sentence you to death, and if he really does not like your idea he will post your execution on national monkeyvision. Are you willing to take this risk?" the lady at the front desk asked. "Yes, I am," said Dr. Banana excitedly because he knew that he was going to get an agent to get a baby koala for his project. "Then you may enter the scanner," she told him.

He walked through the scanner. The scanner was checking for any sort of weapon on Dr. Banana. When it saw that there were no weapons on him the first weapon proof door opened. There was a small room with another weapon proof door. The room was there so no one in the waiting room could attack the dictator through the door. The door, behind him, closed, and then the door in front of him opened.

Then he walked into the grand room with the dictator in it. The room alone was probably worth about one thousand average monkey's trees because the room was also in a building, and obviously buildings are more expensive than trees, but one room was not usually that expensive. "What useless task do you ask of me?" questioned the rude dictator. "Well," said Dr. Banana, "you probably heard or seen me on monkeyvision news sometime before for my experiment. I am creating a creature that we monkeys can control so that they can do important task that we cannot do and all those sorts of things. "Oh my," gasped the dictator "are you really the scientist working on the project? Wow I've been waiting so long for this invention to become a reality, so what do you need me to do for you?" excitedly asked the dictator. "I need a baby koala gene," he asked nervously. "WHAT!!! You need a baby koala gene?! That would be suicide!" the dictator screamed. "But you want the creature to become a reality," pushed Dr. Banana because he did not want to have the same fate as the last monkey that was in this room. "Okay, okay I'll get you the gene because I really need more idiots to laugh at in this boring world, but I'll have to charge you some bananas said the dictator. "Okay," agreed the doctor knowing that if he said no he would have been sent to the execution chambers immediately, "but how many?" "I'm not sure yet, but it won't be more than 30,000," said the dictator. "Agreed" said the doctor said, "But I also have a plan on how to get the koala too," said Dr. Banana. "Excellent I'll have to give you a discount," exclaimed the dictator. "Also," said Dr. Banana, "All profit made on this creature, except tax, goes to me since I am paying for the koala." "Of course," said the dictator, but he sounded a little depressed because he had been found out. "Shake hands on it, and sign here, your majesty" said Dr. Banana, so they shook their right hands, and the dictator signed the contract along with Dr. Banana. I'll send my best agent on it.

James Monkey, codename 00Monkey was told that he needed to steal a baby koala, in Australia, for his next mission. He was ordered to immediately report to the treeport.

While the monkeys were preparing to steal a baby koala, the koalas were celebrating the 100,000,000,000,000th Koala Independence Day. Oala Chan, a koala general, went up to the podium, in front of the huge crowd of anxious koalas, to give a speech about the war that they fought in to get their independence.

Oala Chan started, "One-hundred years ago koalas and pandas were used as slaves for bears in Australia. My grandfather Euco Chan had had enough of working for the bears without any pay or good treatment, so one night when he was supposed to be sleeping, in the locked up chamber he was put in, he used all the supplies he had to get out. There was a glass cup filled with water, and a light bulb. He drank the water, and he held the cup up to the light bulb, which was lit, and he aimed the light, which went out of the glass, up onto the wall. He waited there for several minutes with the light beaming on the wall waiting for a path to freedom to appear. When he was about to give up, thinking that there was not enough heat, a fire started. He fed the fire with some of the hay that was on the floor, and finally the fire burned a hole big enough for him to escape through. He went through the hole and ran as quickly as he could away from the bears that owned him. He had to be very careful out in the wild because any bear that saw him would make him a slave again.

During the nighttime he broke into a shop and grabbed supplies that he could make a stronger light with, so he stole a small light bulb, a little heater, a tiny piece of glass, and a case to put them all in. He tested out this new light, and it burned through wood almost instantly. He decided to call his idea the laser beam, because he liked the sound of the word laser, and it was a beam.

The next night he went to where some of the slaves had been locked up and burned a hole to set them free. The process continued. They created more lasers and freed more koalas, giant pandas, and red pandas who were slaves. Then they would send them to this underground base that they built. It had all the supplies that they needed to survive, and it was a very nice place to live in compared to the small, little rooms that they had been locked up in. All of the animals appreciated what they gave to them even though they didn't give each animal much, but it was a lot more stuff compared to what the bears gave them. The koalas got medicine for the sick, instead of just letting them die like the bears did, and gave them each plenty of food to eat unlike the bears did to. All of the freed koalas and pandas could get a job as a thief to get the supplies they needed, and then they would get a little more stuff for themselves.

The process continued for several months. They created more lasers and freed more koalas and pandas. Eventually the bears grew more and more suspicious on what was happening with the slaves. More slaves escaped every day and more stores were robbed, so the bears set several dozens of teams to find the escaped slaves, and then one day they found the underground base where they had been hiding. The koalas and pandas did not want to go back to being slaves to the bears, so they fought hard against the bears. The bears did not stand a chance against the koalas and pandas because they had lasers and the bears were only armed with guns that took a long time to reload. The koalas and pandas dominated the bears and they also realized their own power against the bears. The next day the koalas took over the nearest city to their base. It was called Bear's Town which is where Sydney is today. They killed many bears and the rest of the bears fled. The bears were the smartest creature on the planet then, and they decided it would be safest to flee Australia, and leave all the slaves behind because there would have been no chance for the bears to win that war.

Since Euco Chan got all of the slaves free and he was a koala, the koalas got the title the smartest creature on the planet Earth because the title had always gone to the type of animal that defeated the current smartest animal on Earth. The pandas left for Asia, where they originally lived because they were all so homesick for Asia. The koalas stayed in Australia because that was where we originally lived. Also, since Bear's Town was not a good name for a koala city, they decided to keep the name similar and just name it Koala's Town. The end" said Oala Chan.

All the koalas clapped hard because they loved the story of the koala independence so much, and it was only told by Oala Chan once a year.

"Great story General Oala Chan," said the koala President George Koalatin. "Thank you," replied Oala Chan, "but without a great president like you we wouldn't still have peace in Australia."

The koalas then partied all day and all night celebrating the 100th Koala Independence Day.

Back with the monkeys;  
After flying for several thousand miles, 00Monkey grew impatient. They couldn't fly fast or otherwise the koala radar would easily pick up the flying banana tree. 00Monkey twiddled his thumbs to vaguely entertain himself when he could not stand waiting anymore.

The flying banana tree flew over Koala's Town, Australia with the best monkey spy in the world. He prepared to do the world's highest jump ever according to monkey history. It was probably 1,000 feet higher than the highest halo jump(2) ever done by a human. After the long jump he landed about 1 mile from Sydney. Quietly and swiftly he snuck around the koala territory looking for a baby koala.

As he walked around without any signs of danger he thought he was safe, but he should have known better about the koalas.

Every once in awhile he would spin around looking for koala agents or spies sneaking up from the behind, but there were still no signs of koalas sneaking from behind though. He continued, and then he spotted an innocent little koala baby with his mother. She had her face buried in the tree which meant she was busy talking with other koalas though the koala system in the eucalyptus trees. Then as the monkey was about to laser the tree down ten trained koala generals surrounded him with small explosive rocks in their hands. "Freeze," one of the higher ranked koalas said. 00Monkey slowly raised his hands. The koalas thought they had captured the monkey, but then he veraciously swung out his tranquilizer laser, twirled around while holding down the trigger, and made all the koalas fall to sleep in a heart beat.

Then the monkey suddenly saw the koala mother sprinting at thirty mph away from him, but 00Monkey did not let the koala escape. He immediately started his jet pack that shot flames, out the back of the jet pack, and started flying extremely quickly for the koalas. The koala was no match for the speeding monkey. Then several more koala generals started chasing after him, in humongous hovercrafts. 00Monkey's orders were to kill no koalas so that the koalas would not get to mad with the monkeys, so 00Monkey tossed sleeping gas at the koalas. Unfortunately for 00Monkey, the three trained koala hovercraft pilots dodged the gas and continued chasing after him. The three koalas pulled out their laser pistols and started shooting at 00Monkey. 00Monkey had already been through many training sessions on how to doge all kinds of lasers in various cases and he dodged the lasers the koalas shot at him with ease.

The laser pistol is this gun that shoots out one small laser at a time. The small laser is slightly stronger than an average laser beam, and it uses less battery power than a laser that continuously shoots a laser. It is a matter of preference if you like the laser pistol or the laser beam better. If you don't want to constantly change batteries than the laser pistol is better, but if you want a continuous laser, than the laser beam is the weapon of choice. Back to the story.

00Monkey then ripped out a huge laser and beamed at one of the koalas hovercrafts. The koala's hovercraft dropped down, and the koala's head slammed into the front of his hovercraft. Fortunately for 00Monkey the koala was only knocked out, so he had not disobeyed any orders. Right as he was about to laser down another hover craft, one of the koalas shot an arrow at him. When 00Monkey was about to dodge the arrow, electricity spurted out of the arrow and surrounded him. Then the arrow hit him in the leg and he fell to the ground.

The koala that shot him got out of his hovercraft and said "I am General Oala Chan, and I place you under arrest for attempted kidnapping."

The monkey decided to look as pitiful as he could and followed along where the two koalas would take him. He decided that it wouldn't hurt to find more information about the koalas. The two koalas took him for a long hike through the eucalyptus woods. Then, he saw the execution chambers for criminals. He knew that's where he would end up if he stayed with the koalas for much longer, so he started thinking of an escape plan.

Then Oala Chan said, "According to our laws all creatures must go through a trial by jury before we punish that creature." The monkey started to do some quick thinking on how he was going to escape. When none of the koalas were looking he quickly reached into his pockets and grabbed an invisibility ring. "Where did he go?!" some of the koalas demanded. "Look for him on radar quickly!" Oala Chan screamed. "He should be somewhere over there" one of the koalas said, "after him!" all they could see was a jet pack and flames flying through the air.

"Equip your floatboards!" Oala Chan demanded. Then many koala agents started chasing the monkey criminal.

The monkey prepared a huge lasso to catch a baby koala below him, and then swung it around a baby koala. Then the baby koala was flying through the air as the monkey started pulling up the rope. "Mommy, Mommy!!" screeched the baby koala. Then the monkey turned off the flames on his jet pack and landed perfectly on his jet ski. Seconds later he had disappeared, with the baby koala, from the radar of the koalas, which means he was traveling at least light speed.

One hour later.  
"Attention up," ?koala phrase) Oala Chan demanded. Sorry for the interruption from the story, but I'm not going to put quotation marks through out the rest of the story. It is especially irritating because my computer continuously puts them in the wrong direction.

Then Oala Chan started his speech. A koala baby has been stolen from outside of Koala's Town. This is totally unacceptable that koalas would let the monkeys steal an innocent baby koala. For all we know they might raise the koala and use its intelligence to dominate the world. Who knows what they are doing with this koala, but all I know is that we have to get this child back. If we don't, who knows what will happen. They might create a terrible weapon or machine that could dominate all animal kind, so we must act quickly to get the infant back. I recognized his badge, and he is a monkey spy from the capital City of Monkey Island, Oggletopinasa. I have come up with a plan on how to get this koala back the safest way for all us koalas. If we bomb several monkey cities with our new invention the nuclear bomb they will feel that all of Monkey Island is endangered of being bombed until they give up the baby koala. I know that they are going to put the koala in the capital city, of Monkey Island, so that we can not bomb the city, or we will kill the baby koala.

But sir, said another koala, isn't the monkey government a dictatorship, and they won't care what happens to the rest of the monkeys?

True but the monkey citizens, along with most other creatures, do not want to die, and the monkey citizens will overthrow the government officials until they get what they want and give the baby koala back, or they will be stupid and start a war with us. Either way we win. We have not been in a major war in a long time, and we don't want to get in another war, but all koalas will be safe because of our super shields that will not allow anything to penetrate them. We will get the baby back no matter what, but if they just kill this baby koala then we will go to war with them, but I see no reason why any species, good or evil, would steal another creature and just kill it. They could have just killed the koala before, so we no we have time. It's not like a little baby is going to give them any information about us, and even if that wait for him to learn to speak he won't remember any of the us. There has to be some reason that we cannot think of on why they would steal him, so we know we have time, but we have to act quick.  
Prepare to bomb Monkey Island.

Over on Monkey Island;  
00Monkey you have done well. I did not actually expect you to return with a baby koala, said the dictator. I know that. You underestimated my powers. I can steal an infant of any species without any trouble. It was like opening a banana, said 00Monkey. Bring this infant to Dr. Banana. He is on the left side of Oggletopinasa, near Banana Beach #12. Right away sir, said 00Monkey.

But don't tell the freaky scientist your real name or codename. I don't exactly trust him, but I thought it would be a fun task for you to prove your real power. Now we know that you are practically unstoppable.

So the monkey told him the story of what went on in Australia, the home of the koalas, and the dictator enjoyed it very much.

The monkey village of Ineedbananas was having a normal peaceful day. The birds sung cheerfully, and everybody was exited for the report on the new species that was being developed in the capital. Many monkeys of the city surrounded the son of Dr. Banana because he was going to give the speech.

Excuse me, said Dr. Banana Jr. I know you are all excited to here about this new great invention that my father has been working on for 12 ½ years. Many of you have been anxious these long and exciting 12 ½ years just to hear the name of this new creation.

My father and his workers have been working with many genes over this time trying to create the most brilliant creation ever. Eventually with trial and error the creature will be the beginning of making new species. Soon we will be able to make other creatures that will serve us in whatever we need. This one will be an all around. However, if you alter its genes slightly, you can make it extremely good at something, and it will be obedient.

The best part of them all, is that we will have created something incredible before the koalas have. over thousands of years the koalas have been inventing things just before we do, and then we have to pay them to use the invention according to the Earth's laws of animals. Now we will not have to pay them, and they shall pay us if they want to use this incredible invention.

A little later Dr. Monkey continued with his speech, but then they saw the biggest bomb they had ever seen. Monkeys all over the place started screaming, but it was too late. The bomb hit and exploded. Thousands of monkeys were killed per second, and the city was left in ruins. All that was left of the city was a tree flying in the air. It was one of the koala's flying eucalyptus trees.

Remember what I said at the beginning? Some of the things that we think are the first ever in history are really about the 110th time they've actually been done. When we first bombed Japan with nuclear bombs we thought it was the first nuclear bombing in history, but actually the first nuclear bomb was dropped by the koalas on Ineedbananas. The bombing that we did on Japan was about the 1,880th nuclear bombing in Earth's history, and after the koalas bombed Ineedbananas other planets figured out how to use nuclear bombs. What you haven't figured out yet is where Monkey Island is today. Monkey really is now apart of what now is Yemen, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, and part of Iran, and Monkey Island was really an island at the time. How Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, and part of Iran is now apart of Asia is that it slowly moved into Asia. It only moves slightly faster than Asia, and it gradually pushed into Asia making it look like it was always apart of Asia. Why scientist haven't figured this out yet is because it moves at such a slight different speed that it looks like it is apart of the same plate as Asia is on. Nobody will be able to back this up with scientific proof for thousands of years because they practically act as one plate. I mean a plate that moves on the Earth, and the ones that cause earthquakes Until the plate that Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Iraq, and part of Iran are on, which I am now calling the Middle East plate just so I don't have to type the all the countries names and part of Iran over and over again, moves a different direction then the Asian plate no scientist will ever be able to figure this out. You'll be dead by the time scientist figure this out unless you can get some other species to talk to you, and bribe it to give you a live forever potion you're never going to be able to see the scientific proof, and if you get the animal to give you a potion you'll believe all this stuff that you probably think is madness right now, and you wouldn't need the scientific proof to believe it. If you do figure out how to talk to animals without them pretending to be scared to death please email you because I would really like to talk to an animal that doesn't want to play jokes with me.

I promise you I'm almost done, and I'll be back to the story. If you are wondering why some animals are different than this, and they are friendly, it's because they were either born friendly or are trained to become friendly. There is always someone who thinks and does stuff differently then other people, and a lot of times they are lots of people who think different ways. Just like how people have different religions. Okay back to the story with the koalas

Success, said the pilot. Excellent replied Oala Chan. Now those monkeys might actually give up our koala. They won't give up him until later though. We need to bomb San Bananas now, so they flew away leaving Ineedbananas in ruins.

The koalas slowly flew to San Bananas for safety purposes before because they were flying higher than any flying tree had before and they did not want to anything bad to happen. Pilot do you have an estimated time to San Bananas? asked Oala Chan. It will take approximately two hours unless there is any lightening or monkey fighters that could delay us, but I don't think the monkey's trees will be able to fly this high, said the pilot. Excellent, replied Oala Chan.

Oala Chan proof read his report about the bombing of Ineedbananas. He rechecked all of his numbers like approximately how many monkeys were killed and that sort of stuff.

CHAN!!! the pilot screamed, there are several Monkey trees below us looking for us. They will locate us any minute! Laser them and they will fall to the ground like a rock replied Oala Chan. Good thinking, the pilot commented. The pilot then lasered both of the trees and they did exactly as Chan had told the pilot.

We're at San Bananas, said the pilot. Are we in the center of the city? asked Chan. Yep, the pilot answered. Bomb them now, said the pilot. Oala Chan aimed the bomb and it dropped into the city with deadly accuracy. In the matter of seconds the city was destroyed.

Nice fireworks eh, said the pilot. Ya, they're the fireworks of victory said Oala Chan.

When they returned to Koala's Town thousands of koalas greeted them happily because of the success in the bombing.

Back with the monkeys; 00Monkey traveled along to Dr. Banana's beach. It was still about 20 miles away, so it would take about minute or two by a flying banana vehicle.

A flying banana vehicle looks like a giant banana with an opining for a monkey to get in. It was one of the fastest flying vehicles sold to nonmilitary monkeys at the time. It had top speeds of 200mph, and the monkeys have no speed limits like us because the government would not like to spend money on these sorts of things. They don't care that a monkey crashes and dies because he/she was going to fast.

He traveled to Dr. Banana's house without any disturbances, and went towards the left side of Banana Beach #12 just like he was told to by the dictator. He figured out which tree was Dr. Bananas from all the steams and gases pouring out from the roof of his gigantic laboratory. Chemicals of all different colors were pouring out of his lab and it amazed 00Monkey that they would allow a monkey to pour out so much toxic waste on one of the most beautiful beaches on Monkey Island. However, the dictator would not care about this beach because he never went to this beach. He climbed up his front vine until he reached the tree door. On the deck he saw Dr. Banana crying his heart out. What's the matter 00Monkey asked the white haired monkey. The koalas all they wanted was revenge on me! cried the monkey. You're Dr. Banana right? 00Monkey asked. Yes, he cried. I have come here to drop of the baby koala you needed to complete your experiment. Anyways what is the matter with you? 00Monkey asked.

Didn't you hear about the bombings in Ineedbananas? The doctor asked. No, did they happen today? Yes, just an hour ago, said the doctor. See my son was in Ineedbananas, and the koalas bombed Ineedbananas and San Bananas! They did it just because we stole a baby koala. They killed my son. They all need to die, cried Dr. Banana again. Well here is your koala. Finish your experiment, and then you can kill it if you want. Though I'll have to charge you for the koala, 00Monkey said. How much? The crying doctor asked. Twenty thousand fresh bananas and send them to Oggletopinasa in a week, or I'll come back for you.

Oh 00Monkey, tell the dictator that there is a problem in the formula for this new creature, said the doctor.

What! snapped 00Monkey. Why are you telling me this you should know that if this project fails the penalty will be death because of all the hard work that the government has gone through to supply you with what you have needed for this.

I know that stupid, replied the doctor. It is a good mistake though.

What do you mean by a good mistake? asked 00Monkey

Well, you know how the project was supposed to help monkeys do all sorts of important task and things. Well, I can only figure how to manipulate with the koala gene so that the new creature will think it is the smartest creature in the world, but actually be the dumbest in the world. It would have an IQ less than your underpants, said the doctor.  
That's brilliant, replied 00Monkey. Monkeys will be able to laugh at these creatures all day long and have fun with them.

Yes, the doctor replied. So go tell the dictator the about the new creature and have him have someone to spread the news to monkeys all around monkey island.

00Monkey then climbed down the vine and traveled back to the capital city.

Once 00Monkey reached the capital he met the furious dictator monkey it a fit. First, said 00Monkey I need to tell you about the change in plans with the project.

What! he's not going to make it? asked the dictator.

No, just that he cannot manipulate with the gene to make it the smart and do all of our random needs. It will be extremely dumb, and we can laugh at them all day long. Plus, the government will make more money off of this project.

The dictator had the same reaction as 00Monkey.

Then 00Monkey told him to spread the news to all monkeys around Monkeys Island.

Then 00Monkey changed the topic to the bombings. Are you mad about the bombings? 00Monkey asked. Yes, if we don't take action monkey civilians will take over the government in fear that the koalas will do more bombings. They know that the koalas did the bombings so that they could get that puny blob back. We have to tack action otherwise we're done for! We can either give the koala back, which I am definitely not doing, or we can go to war with the kolas. We have to do something or otherwise monkey mobs will over throw the government, so they can get what they want. They don't want every monkey in the nation except the monkeys in the capital city to be endangered of being bombed. No monkey in the capital city should be bombed because they know we're keeping the koala somewhere in the capital city, so we won't be bombed, said the monkey dictator. Did you know that the koalas would bomb somewhere in Monkey Island after we stole the Infant? said 00Monkey. Yes, I thought there was a reasonable chance that they would bomb somewhere. That is why I allowed all of this to happen because Dr. Banana lives close enough to us that if they tried to bomb us they would also bomb their koala. Smart thinking, said 00Monkey, though, Dr. Banana has a good chance of not finishing the project. Why not? said the monkey dictator. Because his son was bombed in Ineedbananas. What!! Those koalas they wanted him to not complete the project! screamed the dictator. Sir, said 00Monkey, I heard the koalas talking to each other wondering why I was trying to steal a baby koala. They don't know about the project yet. They couldn't have bombed Ineedbananas on purpose. They probably randomly picked a city excluding the capital city and just bombed it, said 00Monkey. I hate it how you're always right, said the dictator. Sir I have been trained to know all these sorts of things. Why do you think I'm the top monkey spy? questioned 00Monkey. Right again you're always right. I'm always wrong and you're always right, so there is only one way to settle this, said the monkey dictator extremely quickly. How? replied 00Monkey. Goodbye the dictator said while pulling out a laser gun and shoot 00Monkey three times until he fell to the ground.

Ha ha 00Monkey. No more listening to you anymore. I am the one and only dictator of Monkey Island. I will transfer your intelligence into my head now and I will be the smart one now. I'm surprised that his knowledge didn't let him know that I was going to kill him, but good thing because he would have shot me down first if he figured out where I was going to. Off to my personal scientist.

The dictator decided to walk to his scientist's laboratory because it was a beautiful day out. When he was walking down the street that his personal scientist laboratory was on, several monkeys came after him screaming, YOU LET THE BOMBINGS OF INEEDBANANAS HAPPEN!!!! One of the monkeys then lunged for him. The dictator started running and screaming like a baby away from the monkey mob. When he was a little ahead of the bob they started throwing explosive bombs after him. Kill him! a monkey yelled. The dictator continued to run more panicked then ever and screamed as loud as he could for his guards. ARREST THEM, he screeched, or I'll fire you all! The mob started attacking the guards that came after them. Lasers were fired, poison arrows were launched, and banana bombs were thrown. The mob and the guards were fighting veraciously to the bitter end. Neither side was going to surrender in the small skirmish. One of the guards screamed, you're never going to get away with this. There are thousand of troops stationed all over Oggletopinasa and about 3,000 under cover monkey cops. As more poison vials were thrown and more monkeys' heads were amputated with laser swords, more monkeys joined what was originally a small skirmish. Some monkeys had absolutely no idea what the battle was for, but they decided to join just to kill.

Then, the dictator went into the laboratory to get 00Monkeys knowledge transferred into his head.

So, you probably have never heard of an object that allows you to transfer the good parts of one brain to another before. That's because we are a monkey's lab experiment, so we're the dumb ones.

Back with the koalas;  
The bombing was a success, said Oala Chan now we will make those evil monkeys give back the baby koala or their empire will be corrupted. Put up the shields before the monkeys declare war on us, and prepare all koalas, that will not shoot other koalas heads off and do something, for battle. The koalas were not really in a hurry. The only thing they did prepare quickly was the shield. With the shield up no monkeys could attack the koalas in the koala empire even with warheads or nukes, but the koalas could shoot through the shield and kill monkeys. It was a one way shield, and it would allow the koalas to dominate the monkeys.

Once the shield was up, the koalas were as slow as slugs preparing everything else. It was something like this; hey kid would you like to operate a huge machine gun that could knock down monkey ships? Most of the koala kids would say sure and go to the machine gun in a couple of days because there was absolutely no hurry because of the shield.

Over at Monkey Island;  
00Monkey's brain has almost been transferred over to your head, said the dictator's personal scientist. Excellent, how much longer about, said the dictator. Approximately two minutes.

When the brain transplanting was done the dictator went out to speak to the angry mob of monkeys that was outside his door. SILENCE!!! he barked so all of the monkeys could here him. I know how all of you are upset about the bombing of Ineedbananas and San Bananas. Let me start at the beginning of this entire mess though. Dr. Banana, the best monkey scientist on Monkey Island, was creating a species that all of us monkeys can laugh at all we want because they will think they are the smartest animal ever, but they are really the dumbest. The monkey crowd started roaring in laughter. The only reason they will think that they are the smartest animal is because they will be the only species to show off their technology to the rest of the world. If they have conflict with other animals some day in the future, they will be completely whipped out because the other animal will know all of their weapons and capabilities, and the humans are extremely stupid. The animal that they are having conflict with will know all of their weapons and gadgets, and will be ten times smarter, so they will be able to completely obliterate them. More monkeys started to crack up laughing.

Dr. Monkey had all but one ingredient stirred into the mixture he needs to make this but one. He needed a koala. The crowd looked shocked and dismayed. Most of the monkeys were thinking it's impossible to get a koala slave. They'll bomb you before you get in a ten mile radius of the empire unless you're allies.  
Then the monkey leader started to speak again, and said I know you all think this is an impossible task, but I did send my best monkey agent 00Monkey over to go and do the task. I knew that he would be able to complete the job, he lied. He came back with a big gushing cut and a baby koala. The monkeys in the crowd started jumping up and down screaming for joy. 00Monkey is the best, some of them screamed. Then the dictator rudely interrupted them. I haven't finished and any of you who would like to continue interrupting will be executed in the torture chamber by one of my guards. The crowd immediately became quiet. After the baby koala was stolen, the koalas were furious, so they bombed Ineedbananas. We monkeys cannot let that happen and let them get away with it so we monkeys will go to war with those fur balls of madness. All the monkeys started screaming with joy again even though they knew if they went to war with the koalas they were all going to die.

Prepare the battle trees! screamed the dictator. All the monkeys ran to battle trees and started to fly. Millions of flying banana trees soared in the air towards the koala empire.

The monkeys had no strategy or plan on how they were going to be victorious in this battle. It was more of a suicide mission than 00Monkey trying to steal the baby koala. At least that attack had a plan and a highly trained monkey to do the task. Most of the monkeys flying to Australia then were very, very dumb, and they were not trained at all. They had as much training as a normal kid has with military skills, excluding video game skills. They went to Australia to bomb for the same reason that the battle before was fought. They just want to kill anything that they can just so that they can kill something.

The koala army that the koalas were going to use this time was primarily kids. If it wasn't for the super shield, the koalas would have chosen to use highly trained koala officers.

Most of the trained monkey officers were on Monkey Island because they knew this battle would lead to the death of all the monkeys that went there.

When they were one hundred miles away from the Australia, bombs were being flung and landed on many of the monkey's ships and exploded, destroying the ship and some of the ships around it. The monkeys did not retreat, they all just wanted to bomb those koalas so badly, so they continued to struggle forward on the hopeless journey even though they knew were unlikely to make it to Australia

When they were ten miles away from their destination only one tenth of the original 1,000,000 trees were still in the air, but things only got worse for the monkeys. Many red panda ships started blazing by in the sea launching more bombs at them. The monkeys tried to bomb them back, but their boats traveled even faster than their flying banana trees.

The red pandas were known for their great navy. They have the fastest boat today. It is called the Red Only 838. It can travel around the Earth in approximately one minute, but back then they didn't have boats that traveled that fast. Their boats traveled around 4,000 miles per hr. And I do mean boats and not anything flying.

Anyways the red pandas, one of the biggest allies of the koalas, were hurling bombs at the monkeys. More monkeys were dying every second.

The monkeys suffered more loss with the red pandas underneath them. They launched more than just bombs at them, they had snipers shooting the monkeys off their trees, and the monkeys tried everything they could to protect themselves and fired back at them, but the red pandas lasers would go right through their shields, and the boats were way too fast to be hit by any of the monkey's bombs. Plus, the monkey's trees were too slow to avoid the bombs that were launched up at them.

When they finally got to the koala empire and saw a big huge shield around it there were only about one-thousand flying banana trees left out of the one million that started flying towards the island.

The monkeys attempted bombing the shield, but what ever bomb they dropped at it flew right back at them. You would think that the falling trees from the sky would hit the red pandas, but no, this didn't happen because the red pandas ships had emergency maneuvering. This allows auto pilot to take control over for a second or two if anything is going to hit the ship, so it was very unlikely for one of the monkeys to hit one of the red pandas unless the auto pilot was broken. In this battle only one red panda was taken down.

The monkey's troubles only got worse though when they reached the island. Not only were bombes being flung at them but gigantic machine guns were shooting at them too. Any of the monkeys that attacked the shield would be obliterated by their own bomb.

In the matter of minutes the monkey ships had all fallen into the depths of the sea never to rise again unless a koala scuba diver wanted to see what treasures the monkeys had.

After all the monkeys were in the depths of the ocean, the koalas opened a small hole in the shield for the red pandas to come through in.

Welcome said the koala president, George Kolatin. Thank you for letting us in said one of the red pandas. No, you help the koala empire, we thank you again for your support and generosity.

The 4,999 remaining red pandas entered the koala empire. Remember, that only one red panda actually died so there were 5,000 red pandas sent to battle.

The koalas through a huge party for their victory in the battle even though the monkeys stood no chance against them. The koala had some of their best toys for the red pandas to test out and had loads of different ways that eucalyptus leaves were prepared. There were eucalyptus leaves plain, fried, mashed, juiced, chopped, baked, in a salad, and many other ways. There were even some ways that I don't even know how to translate into English. There was stuff that they called something completely different, but it was basically like a cake with eucalyptus leaves. They chopped the leaves into a very fine powder and added some water and baked it. Other ways they prepared it were they put the leaves in the oven, with nothing else, until they were black took it out chopped it into millions of tiny pieces the size of fine sand and used it as a seasoning. They call it like something leave, but they had some sort of name for it like baked leaves, but the word that they used for baked cannot be translated into the English language because there is no word in the English language for it because we don't do it. Try saying that sentence ten times fast, and don't be sarcastic like my friend and say that sentence and nothing else.

The koalas also had red panda food if they did not want to have eucalyptus leaves, but most of the red pandas had the eucalyptus leaves.

Anyways the koalas and pandas were having a great time with each other playing games and sports. They would teach each other games that the red pandas played and games that koalas play, and they all seemed to have a great time playing and eating and partying.

While the rest of the koalas were partying, Oala Chan went to the Koala's Town treeport. He was heading all the way to Oggletopinasa to figure out why the monkeys had stolen a baby koala. He wasn't going to try to get the baby koala back because they would probably have tight security around where ever they were holding him hostage because of the battle that just happened. They would need to get rid of more military monkeys.

They took off from Koala's town and flew all the way until they were ten miles away from Oggletopinasa. They were flying over water and Oala Chan was preparing to jump onto the hovercraft that they had already placed below them. Then Oala jumped onto the hovercraft and drove towards Monkey Island.

When he got onto Monkey Island he put on a camouflage that would change, wherever he was, for the best camouflage. It would be a bit harder for monkeys to find him with the special suit on.

Oala replaced his lasers' batteries, and headed towards the dictator's mansion where he was supposedly holding a meeting. This meeting would probably have some important information for the koalas. The streets were practically empty because it was ten o'clock at night so he didn't have to be so careful on the streets, but he still had to be fairly careful because some monkeys were returning home from a late night out at a restaurant or some public place.

Then Oala saw the house of the dictator. The dictator was one of the few monkeys that had enough bananas to buy a building to live in instead of living in a tree. His house was about one square mile big. It amazed Oala how someone could afford a house that big and fill it up with supplies and furnishings. It would probably take Oala a while to cross the building because he wouldn't be able to use any of the elevators or machines that would make him travel faster around the building because that would probably cause the alert to go off during a meeting like this.

When he was right next to the building a speaker said, Handprint identification please. Oala put a special powder of the monkey leader of southern Monkey Island. Handprint excepted the speaker replied. He quietly went through the doors and started looking around at the building. There were hundreds of security cameras, motion sensors, and sound sensors that could trigger off the alert. Oala would have to be extremely careful wandering in a place like this. Chan's computer would scan the design into it, and then make a costume that would look the same.

The only way he thought this would be possible is if he scanned one of the robot maids and made a costume come out looking exactly like one but he could get inside, so he did that and started sneaking around.

The walk across the building was really boring for Oala because there was absolutely no action at all. Plus, the robot maids moved as slow as a slug. He had to move exactly like them or otherwise he would set the security cameras off.

After about three hours of traveling through the building he reached the room where the meeting was taking place. He started vacuuming the floor while he had a thing-a-ma-bobber that could hear sounds through walls. There were four monkeys in the room, the dictator, the monkey leader of the south, the monkey leader of the north, and the monkey leader of the in-between. The last monkey's title was really the monkey leader of the in-between. It just meant that he was the head of the area in-between the north and south.

The dictator started talking. You all already know that this project started out as a wonderful idea, but it is turning into a total and complete nightmare. We declared war against the koalas, and now they are killing all of the monkeys. I want this creature to become a reality. A creature that thinks it is the smartest creature of all time, but it really is the dumbest, and the monkeys can control it. It is the best idea ever, but it is really bad that Dr. Banana needs a stinking koala gene to complete the project. We cannot defeat the koalas. It was a stupid move not to kill the stupid scientist in the first place. Now he is going to have to kill the koala to complete the project, and the koalas are going to go insane. Do any of you have a plan on what we can do?

The leader of the north started to speak: You're way over reacting dictator. If they do attack Monkey Island we can just flee to Africa and Asia. We'll give the koalas back their koala and kill the scientist for failing. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, or does it? Right, replied the dictator.

Anyways we haven't seen each other in a while. We should talk about how the north, south, and in-between are doing, how about we start with the north, said the dictator.

San Bananas is in the north, so monkeys up there have been going crazy. They think the koalas are going to continue to bomb Monkey Island. They also think there is no other place in the world to go to if all goes ill. All we have to do is get monkeys to understand that they can go other places if something bad happens, and then I'll have less death threats and stuff like that. Excellent brother, replied the dictator.

I forgot to mention before, that the dictator has three brothers and they are the leaders of the north, south, and in-between.

Okay back to the story.  
What about the monkeys in the in-between? asked the dictator.

Well the monkeys in the in-between are not as much worried about the koalas. All they want is the new creature, the human being, to have individual remotes, so that every monkey in the world could control one human being, and we could sell the remotes to other creatures who want to have a little bit of fun. We could tax it a little bit, and then we could be even richer, and make expansions on this house. Oala wondered why they would need expansions on a house that is already as big as the monkey downtown. Not even the koala president had a house 1/18 of this size or smaller.

Then the monkeys continued to speak. Any other demanding needs do the monkeys have in the in-between? asked the dictator. Well, the only thing they really want is the remote to be sold to all monkeys, and not just wealthy people like us. Well duh, we're putting extra tax on all of the money we make with it, so the more sold the more money we make. I love win-win situatuations.

Now, what is going on in the south? Well Dictator, the south has been a lot alike the north. The bombing of Ineedbananas has been making many monkeys furious about what we are doing. The monkeys want us to go to war and not give the baby koala back though, so right now they are happy with what we are doing. However, if we loose in this war we are probably going to lose control of the south because they are going to want to break off of Monkey Island. That would mean less tax monkey for us, and that wouldn't be good at all, said the leader of the south. Spoiled brats, Oala thought to himself, and then the leader of the south continued.

If this, dumbest creature in the world is to become a reality, we are going to have to beat the koalas in this war, and the likelihood of that is close to none unless we come up with some brilliant idea on how to take down that shield, said the leader of the south. Then the dictator started talking again. My brother, you think too broadly. We could have the koalas come here where they don't have the supershield. But how would we be able to get them to do that? questioned the leader of the south. If we don't go back over to Australia they will have to come here if they want the baby koala back, but we'll have to think of something extremely crafty if we are going to defeat the koalas.

Dictator, asked the leader of the north, it seams like you have been a ton smarted than you were the last time we saw you. What did you do that made you so much smarter? I had 00Monkeys knowledge transferred into my brain, replied the dictator. That would do it, said the leader of the in-between.

They continued talking about uninteresting things to Oala Chan, like how much tax money have you gotten from the north, south, and in-between, and how much we should raise taxes. They continued talking about those sort of greedy scumbag stuff, and then right as Oala was about to leave, the security camera started screaming, INTRUDER ALERT, INTRUDER ALERT!!! then it says why there's an intruder alert. ROBOT MAID IN SECTION C OF THE BUILDING IS NOT WORKING AT ALL. POSIBLY COSTUME OR MALFUNCTION IN THE ROBOT MAID. SECURITY CHECK OUT IMMEDIATELY!!! security guards from all directions started running right towards Oala. He jumped out of his slow moving costume and ran for it. At least ten guards were already on his tail shooting lasers at him. Oala pulled out his laser and started shooting at the monkeys behind him while the security camera kept an update for other guards. INTRUDER IS NOW IN SECTION B. ALL GUARDS PLEASE REPORT TO SECTION B UNLESS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE FIRED!!! Then Oala threw a motion sensor bomb right behind him and right as it planted itself to the ground, one of the monkeys stepped on it and it exploded killing many of the monkeys around him. More monkeys joined the guards, but none of them could hit the legendary Oala Chan. Banana boomerangs, poison vials, and sleeping gas was thrown at Oala, and lasers were shot at him, but he was able to dodge it all. Then he accidentally went the wrong direction and ended up in a dead end. He ripped out his laser and lasered all the guards down before they even had the chance to shoot him.

When he got out of the building monkeys were shooting him in flying bananas and trying to run him over. This was the most chaotic slug fest Oala Chan had ever seen before, but he had never fought against the monkeys on land before. The flying bananas weren't much harder to take down then a couple of monkeys chasing after him. All he had to do was throw a grenade on the vehicle and ka-boom no more flying banana. More and more monkeys kept on coming after him at 1:00 in the morning, and Oala decided that he couldn't take it anymore, so he decided to make a run for it.

About one-hundred monkeys were chasing after him in what ever vehicles they had. Oala saw flying bananas, banana trees, banana jet packs, and a ton of other items. Oala was speeding away on his float bored that could travel slightly faster than the fastest vehicle they had there.

Then he saw the eucalyptus tree that he was supposed to get onto, so he hopped on, and they disappeared at light speed. When it was 1:00 in the morning the koala president George Koalatin came up and gave a speech with Oala Chan to his right. We had a victory in battle, but we did not have a victory in the war. The reason we went to war was because we wanted to get our baby koala back. I had Oala Chan go and figure out why they wanted a baby koala because this just seemed absurd to me, and probably to the rest of you to. When he returned he told me this. The monkeys are trying to create a really dumb species that will think it is the smartest creature in the entire world, and it would show off all its technology to the rest of the animal kingdom not knowing the dangers of doing so.

In order to complete this project they needed a baby koala gene. They needed a koala because we koalas know we are the smartest creature, and they are just going to manipulate with the genes so that they will only think they are the smartest animal.

In order to get the genes, they are going to have to kill the koala a slow and painfully way. We have about one month until the baby koala will be completely dead. We must get the baby koala back and stop this species from being born because this is just sick humor.

One day later;  
Koala typists typed as fast as they could to tell all the different animals that they could about the species that the monkeys were trying to make.

The newsletter to all the other animals in the world went like this.  
Koalas have just been informed that the monkeys are creating a species that will not be good for the rest of the world. This creature will be called the human being, human for short, and it will think it is the smartest creature ever. However, it will truly be the dumbest. It will show off its technology to the rest of the animals in the world, so it would be easily killed in conflict with other creatures. Also, so we wouldn't get into problems with these creatures, we would have to hide our technology even more just for a little fun torturing another creature.

Don't let the monkeys get away with a crime like this. We can all fight against the monkeys and make them give up the baby koala that they stole, so they won't be able to complete the project. We already hide our technology from each other, but this would be awful. If they caught us sailing or doing something they wouldn't think we could do, they would declare war against us, but then we would be killing many innocent creatures.

In addition, something could go wrong in the project, and they might actually be extremely smart and extremely evil. Then, they might take over the world or do something extremely bad that we would not want to happen, because we would not be able to stop.

With all animals against the monkeys we will be able to teach those monkeys one lesson they won't forget.

Don't let the monkeys get away with their crime; make them get a good punishment for being bad.

If your species is going to join the koalas please come to Koala's Town, Australia. We will welcome you and arm any of your unarmed troops.  
Sincerely.

George Koalatin, koala President Many animals sided with the koalas and thought that this project must be stopped in case something wrong happened and it is evil, but others found humor in it and sided with the monkeys. The koalas were shocked that only about half of the creatures in the world sided with them. They thought that there was more good in the world, but the other animals saw the same, sick humor too.

We must stop all of the species from creating this species! said the koala president in front of elephants, tigers, kangaroos, eagles, giraffes, pandas, and many million other creatures. This project could go badly wrong, plus, it is down right cruel, and those rascals have stolen and killed many other animals to make this project a reality. We must stop them with all of our forces. If none of the other animals went to the other side we would have had an easy victory against the monkeys. The monkeys won't come back any more. They are going to stay at Monkey Island because they know we have an impenetrable shield. We will have to go there to finish the war, and now they have many other animals on their side. Fly or sail to Monkey Island A.S.A.P. to stop this creature from being created.

The troops of millions of animals set off from Australia to Monkey Island.

Back on Monkey Island;  
Prepare all troops for battle. The koalas will be here any minute now! screamed the monkey dictator. Seagulls, crows, crocodiles, alligators, hippopotamuses, apes, sloths, and many other creatures started preparing for battle against the koalas and all the other species they had to fight with them.

The monkey weapons stores were making all the supplies they could. They were filling vials with poison, putting laser pieces together, repairing broken weapons, and much, much more. The weapons stores were making tons of bananas, more than usual, but all the monkeys who worked at the weapons stores were working more than double overtime. Any monkey, who was a employee at the weapons stores, who was not there, was immediately fired, and their job was given to a monkey who did not have another job. They even lost their jobs if they were on vacation.

On Monkey Island, it was very easy to hire or fire monkeys, you could fire a monkey just because there is no more work to do that day and not fill out a single form. All you have to do to get hired is tell the address for where to send you your bananas, and there was nothing to do to get fired.

One of the main reasons there were so many starving monkeys on Monkey Island was because it was so easy to fire a monkey, and give them no severance package. By the time they would have found another job they along with the rest of their family would have starved to death without any bananas.

Okay back to the story.  
Then, at approximately noon, the creatures on Monkey Island could see the flying eucalyptus trees coming. Quickly! cried the monkeys. Then they could see millions of boats coming towards the island. After that they could see the flying rocks that the kangaroos use, and then they started see different types of trees coming in. What seemed like an endless army continued for miles out in the ocean had finally reached Monkey Island.

Bombs soared from the koala's trees and rocks tumbled downwards, crushing many monkeys, from the flying rocks. Then koala agents dropped down from vines onto the land to fight off more monkeys. The monkeys acted as quickly as they could to send out as many troops as they could. Alligator and crocodile ships were sent out to attack all of the navy that was out there, many creatures just fought on land, and some creatures fought in the air.

General R. Panda, the head of the red panda navy, was very good at instructing his troops against the alligators and crocodiles. Even though they had a bigger navy, he knew the red pandas could obliterate them. First of all, the red panda's ships were at least ten times faster then theirs, and they had a lot better weapons.

Use your speed to your advantage, instructed the general, they will have no chance of getting you if you just drive petal to the metal. Occasionally a red panda boat would get hit by one of the crocodile or alligator ships, but the pandas were depleting the alligator and crocodile's ships extremely fast, and they could not keep up with the red pandas.

On land, the elephants crushed, nuked and killed many of the creatures that faced them. When I said nuked I meant miniature nuked. Not a big explosion that would destroy everything for a mile. Monkeys and other creatures tried to fight back, but the elephants were way too big. All the elephants had to do was step on an animal or shoot a miniature nuke or missile and wala dead monkey meat. On the other hand, the monkeys had to either shoot the elephant ten bazillion times or shoot them down with a perfectly aimed rocket. So the elephants dominated the field.

In the air, the koala and other animal trees bombed every square inch that they flew over that none of their allies were on. Millions of monkeys were slaughtered per second, and the monkeys were not able to fire back against the koalas. They couldn't get anyone to attack the koalas that were the least bit trained. Rarely, they would send up a flying banana tree, but they were always shot down before they could get ten feet in the air. The creatures that apposed the creation of the new species had dominated the field.

Then Oala Chan was dropped down from a vine from one of the flying eucalyptus trees in the capital city, Oggletopinasa. Oala Chan's mission was to retrieve the stolen baby koala. If he succeeded in this the koalas would back out of this war unless the monkeys continued attacking them.

Sorry for getting out of the story again, but I would like you to know something. If you think that I'm just being creative with these names 00Monkey and Oala Chan you're wrong. Even though it was a different language, those were the real names of those agents. They were pronounced exactly the same way for a reason. I'll explain how the movie directors came up with these names, but it would kind of, not exactly, ruin the story,

Back to the story;  
Oala Chan was dressed up in a monkey costume, so he wouldn't be shot down. He quickly hurried through the city to Dr. Banana's laboratory. For a great while none of the monkeys suspected Oala Chan's monkey outfit as he quickly hurried towards the laboratory because he looked just like a monkey. Then he climbed up the vine to Dr. Banana's laboratory. Handprint identification please, said the machine. Since Oala Chan's disguise had 00Monkey's DNA on it he thought he should be able to get through. He put his hand on the hand scanner, and it went off. ALERT, ALERT, the machine barked, INTRUDER AT THE FRONT ENTERENCE!!! It continued screaming, and Oala ripped off the monkey costume and prepared for battle.

Two, armed monkey guards came running through the front door and started attacking him. The two monkeys threw poison vials at him, but Oala caught them before they shattered on his skin and threw them back them. Both monkeys fell to the ground in only a few seconds.

More monkeys came after him, but he did some basic tactics to kill them or knock them out. He twirled several monkeys of the front deck, which was 100ft. above the ground, jumped out of the way when they lunged after him, and just lasered a couple of them.

Then, when no more guards were coming after him, and the door was still open, he quickly ran into the tree. When Oala Chan entered the laboratory he heard a monkey crying his head off and the squealing of what sounded like two baby koalas, but they only stole one koala so he thought he was just hallucinating; however when he entered the room where the koala was he saw two koalas.

This can't be right he thought to himself. I would have had an immediate report on this if another koala had been stolen, but both koalas acted and moved exactly alike. It must be some sort of prototype because there couldn't have been two stolen koalas.

Oala Chan pulled out a special laser to see which one was the real koala, but both of them had the exact same genes, and they both looked exactly alike. Then he pulled out something to see how old they were, and Oala Chan figured out that the koala on the left was the real koala because the other koala was less then a day old. Quickly he snatched the koala and started to dash out of the building.

Sorry for the interruption. In the last paragraph it shows the first clone ever, and the monkeys were able to make him look older quickly to make the clone look exactly like the baby koala. That is another one of the things that we think we created first just because we have never seen it.

Anyways, Oala Chan started Dashing out of the laboratory, and then a monkey guard spotted him and yelled, Hey! what are you doing!? Chan zipped of the monkey fur, started running as fast as he could.

It's a koala!!!!!!!!! screamed the monkey citizens of Oggletopinasa. Monkey guards started shooting banana pistols at Chan, but the monkeys were no match for Oala Chan. Oala Chan planted a few motion-sensor-bombs behind him as he started to run away. Several monkeys did not notice them and took their final step and ka-boom! Still several trained monkey soldiers were following Chan, so he switched his float board on and started quickly speeding away. Then monkeys quickly hopped in the nearest flying bananas and started chasing after Oala. Now the monkeys were shooting Rocket launchers at him, but unfortunately for the monkeys Chan was too fast of a flyer. Then the koala started hurling electricity balls at the monkeys. If one of the balls hit one of the flying bananas it would force to much electricity into it that it would explode and come crashing down. He also had deadly accuracy. He had already hit about three of the ten monkeys coming after him. Oala Chan approached the war zone, so just in case he couldn't get down these stupid monkeys, the other koalas would slaughter them by the dozen. But then Oala Chan saw another option. There was a forest, and they would have to be extremely good drivers to get through the forest with such big vehicles, and he just had a tiny little flying board. He quickly went into the forest, and the monkeys still followed him shooting the same amount of bullets and launching the same amount of rockets. Then when several monkeys shot rockets, they would hit a tree and blow up a tree and several of the monkeys around them. All of the monkeys had killed themselves except for one. It was the dictator doing some stuff that 00Monkey would have done.

You have done well for a koala, the dictator laughed, wickedly, but you won't get any farther. Chan decided to fly faster because he knew using his speed to his advantage would make this battle easier. Whenever Chan flew faster Jones would fly at the same speed. Then the dictator started launching rockets at him. Most of them only just missed, but if Chan hadn't moved they would have been dead on target. Then the dictator started trying to snipe his bored so he would fall down and be an easy target. Chan zigzagged away from the lasers he shot with the sniper. The dictator started getting really mad at how good this koala was and took out what 00Monkey was famous for doing. Since he had all the knowledge that 00Monkey had he would be able to do this just as well as him. I thought you would be an easier kill, screamed the dictator, but I'm going to have to be more evil than that. He pulled out a giant electricity gun that would shoot 20,000 volts of electricity, at an extremely quick speed such as 1,000,000,000 miles per hour, at him, but right before he shoot Oala Chan, Oala Chan yawned, calmly pulled out his left pistol, and shot The dictator Jones right in the heart. What were you going to do screamed Oala Chan as The dictator Jones fell to the ground and exploded.

Some how the dictator still survived the large explosion. You think that would kill the ultimate Dictator of Monkey Island? yelled the dictator. Even though my electricity gun exploded I'll still kill you. No koala could ever kill me. Drop your weapons and fight like a real creature. There is no glory in shooting an unarmed creature. Oala did as he said so.

The Dictator continued talking, you may only use weapons that have been around since 812,345,678,900,999,120,888,111,222,333,444,555,666,777,888,998,700 years ago in this battle. That means arrows, swords, spears, mallaces, and stuff like that. Do you agree with this one on one battle? he asked. Oala Chan thought quickly about it. He would be able to crush most ordinary monkeys in this, but how good would the dictator be with 00Monkeys abilities. He would probably be extremely good, but Oala decided that he was strong enough, and it was worth the shot.

I agree, replied Oala. The instant Oala agreed they both went searching through their pockets for their dohicky that could summon any weapon that they needed. Both of them got there weapons at the same time.

They pulled out their swords, and started madly swinging them at each other. They clashed against each other. Each swing they swung with more power than the last, but whenever one of them swung their swords the other would block it.

The dictator grew impatient again and ran into the bushes with his bow and arrow out. Oala went into other bushes to hide, so he wouldn't be easily shot down.

You can hide, but you won't get away. I'll still kill you, screamed the dictator. There you are, the dictator yelled as he shot several arrows into the bushes Oala was in. Oala was barely able to move to dodge the arrows as they whistled past his head. Oala threw a spear back at the dictator, but it missed by only a couple inches. The dictator's heart started to beat a bit faster because Oala Chan was a ton stronger than he had expected.

Then they both ran to find somewhere else to hide. The dictator took the open, which wasn't really a hiding spot, but he would easily be able to spot Oala Chan.

Oala grabbed onto a vine and started swinging up the tree until he reached the top. He had a good view of the entire area, and he could easily snipe down the dictator; plus the dictator would have trouble shooting arrows back up at him because of gravity.

Both of them continued searching for each other, but for a while neither of them could find the other. The dictator was traveling the opposite way from Oala, and Oala was just hanging out in the top of a tree waiting for the dictator to come along.

Finally the dictator decided to turn around, and Oala got out of the tree due to boredom. They were moving exactly in each others direction, and they finally met. The dictator spotted Oala first, and threw a spear right at Oala's heart. Oala caught it in the nick of time and held it up to the dictator. The dictator pulled out his sword and approached Oala. Oala threw the spear at the dictator because he knew it would be no use against his sword. Oala then pulled out his sword and they started fighting again. Again, they both swung their swords madly back and forth at each other. Occasionally, the dictator or Oala would kick each other, but they would usually dodge the kick. Then the dictator pulled out a large battleaxe that was on his back and he tossed his sword to the side. Then he swung it at Oala. Oala ran and picked up the sword that he tossed aside. Its grip was slightly different than a koala sword, but that is because koala and monkey hands are slightly different.

Anyway, the dictator was lunging his axe at Oala. Oala was too quick to be struck by the axe for a while though. Then the dictator barely hit the side of Oala's arm, and he cut some of Oala's fur off. Oala shrieked in pain, but did not stay put for more than a second because that would have been a fatal mistake.

The dictator continued trying to axe Oala down but he couldn't hit Oala. Oala tried everything he could to attack back. After he had dodged the axe, he would try shooting arrows at the dictator, but the dictator would pick up his axe to quickly and block them. Oala did not even attempt going to his back to slash at him, because he would have turned around, and cut him in-half.

Both Oala and the dictator continued, but they could not do anything to the other. As the battle went on they grew more and more tired. The dictator did not switch tactics because he kept on thinking he almost had Oala because he was really anxious, but he wasn't any closer than he was before. Oala did not have a clue what else to do because he would just dodge or block everything he did. Oala just waited for a star opportunity to go in for the kill.

The dictator finally grew tired of swinging the axe around and decided just to try to but Oala with the top of the axe, and kill him when he falls down. When the dictator tried this idea, Oala was only able to get so slightly out of the reach of the axe by jumping backwards and sucking his stomach in as far as it would go. Every time he tried to butt Oala with the axe he got closer and closer to actually hitting Oala. Then he whacked Oala right in the stomach, and Oala fell to the ground. The dictator started smiling as he slowly raised his axe towards Oala. Right before he swung the battleaxe down, Oala ripped out and arrow from his quiver and stuck it right into the dictators stomach. The momentum the dictator had made the axe fall right for Oala, but he tumbled out of the way. The dictator's carcass fell to the ground never to walk the Earth again. Unless some sick creature wanted to pretend he was a doll and moved his feet around like he was walking

After the battle, Oala Chan hurried towards the beach where the war was going on. He and the baby koala went onto one of the red panda's boat and in about a minute they were back on Australia. He brought the baby koala back to his weeping mother, and then she screamed her thanks for Oala Chan.

Because Oala Chan saved the koala, the baby koala'sl parents decided to name him Oala Chan Koko, Oala Chan for first name and middle name for Oala Chan and Kawa for the last name because that was his parents last name.

Over on Monkey Island the birds that were on Monkey Island were now shooting tornados and thunder storms because they were getting bored and impatient for the call to leave the island. Finally they could here the call, come back to Australia now. Come back to Australia now. All the creatures that were fighting against the creation of this new species left the island in the matter of minutes.

However, the tornados and storms didn't go along with them. The storms still kept raging, and one storm was heading for Dr. Bananas Laboratory. After several hours of traveling, and tearing apart monkey homes and blowing monkey bases to the other side of the island, the storm finally hit Dr. Bananas Laboratory. All of the ingredients for the new species were sucked up into the tornado along with the new, guard monkeys and Dr. Banana. Dr. Banana and the guard monkeys all died fairly quickly after being smashed into bazillions of pieces of wood a bazillion times. All the ingredients kept mixing and mixing together, including the clone of the koala, and then all of them together were finally spit out of the tornado.

All the monkeys fled from the island because there was nowhere peaceful to live. Some of them fled to Asia, and others fled to Africa because their homeland had been destroyed. They traveled on planes and boats, however, many of the monkeys did on the journey because of the extreme weather that was made.

Monkeys, to the day, still don't travel in that area of Monkey Island because of what happened there. They would be able to survive the deserts in that area because they know how to grow trees in almost every area known to monkey kind except for Antarctica and other places buried in snow. They just don't live in that area because they are afraid of going there because they still believe that the area of Monkey Island is cursed.

The koalas were partying and partying and partying all day and night because of their victory in battle. The monkeys had learned their lesson and they got what they deserved. The koalas were so happy and they continued to party all night long, and later in the night many of the creatures that helped them make it a victory in battle came. They celebrated the victory of the one and only true World War on Earth ever.

After all the surviving monkeys fled, a little light appeared where all of the ingredients had been mixed. Then two creatures appeared right out of the light, and they were humans.

Word of this experiment being a success didn't reach the word of any creature for many centuries later. Approximately three centuries later when Monkey Island collided into Asia and the humans went off the island to explore the monkeys saw this mysterious species. They wondered why it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid and showed off everything they knew to the world, and they also wondered why it had such lame technology. They were using spears, and monkeys used spears approximately 812,345,678,900,999,120,888,111,222,333,444,555,666,777,888,999,000 years ago. The monkeys looked this species in all the books they had, and they finally found out what this species was. It was a lab experiment by the monkeys three centuries ago that supposedly failed. They also found, with the book, a remote to control their thoughts and actions. They thought this was going to be a whole lot of fun.

They made them think they were the smartest creature in the world, and made them continue showing the rest of the animal kingdom their technology even thought it was the most pathetic technology ever, and they made them think and do really stupid things.

When their technology was a little more advanced, it was more fun for them to play with they made stuff like movies that used monkeys and koalas names that had important roles in the making of the species that they called the human being. They made the make movies about Jackie Chan who was really Oala Chan and 007, who was really 00Monkey.

Human is one of the few words of English that we don't know the real meaning. It really means in Monkish, the monkey language, stupidest, so they called us the Human Being.

This is not exactly us today. We are not the dumbest creature on Earth today, but we are not the smartest either. Read book two to find out what happen with the stupidest animal on Earth.


End file.
